June 2013
12 posts
Slumming it...
I love the LIRR refugees who got onto the subway at Atlantic ave today…
Half look lost and the other half look beyond horrified to have to travel in such conditions…
It’s awesome.
Resolutions, Fear of Failure & Sheryl Sandberg
Something interesting happened back in December… In the midst of trying to win a big, fancy NYE dinner (spolier alert - my husband succeeded in this), I had to tweet my new years resolutions to AMEX…
I’m not a resolution maker, however, this was a contest! So, i put down in writing two things that I really wanted to do in the next few months - start working with an animal rescue org and to stop being so f-ing cheap and to travel more…
I could have never guessed that putting it out there in the world - making the resolution - would actually work, but it has… I can safely say that I have, so far, succeeded with both of those resolutions…
Its got me wondering why I never make resolutions… and i think its fear of failure… What if i tell others that I want to do something and then I dont follow through??? Or i’m not good enough to succeed??? For me, that’s the worst-case scenario… but it shouldnt be, because it means i rarely make those changes that I want to see…
*****
I recently started reading Lean In… I didnt think i’d be so into it, and i’m not even halfway done, but, and this is going to be so cheesy, but i think its kind of changing my life… Reading some of the things she talks about and hearing about studies showing how women (and men) behave in certain situations is kind of blowing my mind… because, oh my god, how did they all know what’s happening in my brain??? not the kid stuff, not the leaving before you leave stuff, but the stuff about self-doubt and negotiation and self-promotion and minimizing contributions and feeling like a fraud - all of that…
The chapter I just finished was about is defensiveness and willingness to hear the truth and learn from it… and I’m trying to take that to heart. and learn from it. I’m an initially awfully defensive person when presented with criticism - particularly when its criticism over something I think i should be perfect at or something I think i do well… I almost always calm down and then take the criticism to heart and try to learn from it, but that initial reaction to unsolicited* criticism is always claws out…
*oddly enough, when I ask for it, i’m totally ok with it. I generally go into my annual review and say ‘i dont care to hear what i do right - assume i’m going to continue doing everything i do unless you tell me otherwise… Tell me what i’m doing wrong…’
*****
So i’m going to take a few lessons from that AMEX tweet & from Sheryl…
I’m resolving (mid-year resolution?) to work - hard - to be less defensive. To learn to listen rather than react. To hear the criticism for what it is - an opportunity to do better. And i’m putting it out there because, whats the worst that’s going to happen? I’ll be held accountable? I’ll risk failing infront of tumblr?
GOOD.
not sure what this says about the company i keep...
… but it appears i have some connection to at least 3 people on the ‘Long Island Johns’ list…
1 is a direct connection, 2 is an indirect, but first level connection, and the 3rd is very indirect, but still…
“I’m getting old. Only five years until I’m 30.”
—
Lady that I just walked past on the street.
Happy Tuesday!
(via monkeychow)
2 days before my 38th birthday - this just made me laugh out loud…
Case in point?
On the train. Reading lean in. Watching no one give their seat to an obviously pregnant lady. Even when the train stopped and she started fanning herself. Even when another lady (standing) asked her if she was ok and if she needed a seat. When she said no, she want going to pass out, the guy sitting directly in front of her just went back to his paper with no indication that he even felt slightly bad. When confronted by another passenger his response was ‘i can’t be expected too scan the train and look for everyone who might need a seat…’ Which is true, but when it was pointed out to him, loudly, that the pregnant woman in front of him may need somewhere to go, well what’s his excuse now? Just ignorance…
(by this time, someone else had given up their seat for her…)
One day that guy will have a wife, sister, daughter, best friend who is treated that way and I hope he can’t help but remember this moment when it happens…
May 2013
44 posts
Was just mocked by a coworker for being a citibike member/user….
Hey high school… How ya doin’?
- 12-year-old girl: I don't want kids when I grow up.
- Society: You'll change your mind when you get older. You're only 12. You're too young to know what you want.
- 16-year-old girl: I'm pregnant.
- Society: How could you be so stupid? Do you know anything about safe sex? You should be ashamed.
- 20-year-old woman: I'm a single mother with an infant son.
- Society: You should've gone to college first. You need a stable career before you can support a child.
- 33-year-old woman: I'm married and my spouse and I both have stable careers. I have two young daughters now.
- Society: You're not staying home? Who's going to take care of them? You're just going to put them in day care while you work? That's selfish of you. You can't expect to raise decent kids with a full-time job.
- 45-year-old woman: I just had my first child.
- Society: Why would you have a child when you're that old? Do you realize the health risks of being pregnant at your age? When your kid is a teenager you'll be a senior citizen. That's inconsiderate of you.
- 60-year-old woman: I haven't had any children.
- Society: Your life must be so unfulfilling. Is there something wrong with you? Why didn't you want kids? How strange.
